2008 in review.

has not been a good year for me...
-lost some friendships
-lost my mind
-got an f
-don't talk to my dad anymore
-got kicked out of the house a couple times
-lost my sanity
-cried A LOT!
-stressed
-lost my best friend
-more vulnerable
-actually encountered drama
-meltdown & breakdown

on the plus side.
learned a lot.
fell down and picked my self up.
lectured a lot, inherited small piece of wisdom
gained new experiences
and pushed myself.
found a father
found a brother
and a "SISTAH!"
changed my perspective on a lot of things
a lot of growth from the inside...

"Our greatest glory is not in never failing,
but in rising every time we fail."
--Confucius

winter break.

i update like every 34 days sheesh so winter break is on. my to do list. scholarships. college apps. portfolio. and gain my sanity.

yep.

yesterday, cousin graduated from UH, use to do her papers for $35 an assignment. got her some good grades. cheee, and one of them was a math paper too. ate at Camellia buffet, with the family. smelt like korean bbq after. got home called up daniel, we went to the malls. ala moana and pearlridge. interesting random people at the mall. like a mommy putting make up on her son. saw sistah rae and lisa at the mall. this random lady tapped me on the shoulder and told me to tell daniel his fly is open lmfao. when he was dropping me off, this super hella weird coincidence. lol so random. home alone again -__- last day of school, busy busy to the last minute, and beyond that haha. third period 08 alumni came in and talked about college. i definitely want to get off this island. i know i'm gonna cry, all part of the experience. after school busy still, busy till 3 hours after the bell rang haha! i painted something ^_^ so cool. but yeah. ok keeping this short.

almost free.

i want to break free. i want to break free.
almost done. one wedding down. one more to go.
scion almost done. oia too.
soon is break, busy busy busy.
but that's ok ;)
final some me time.
sure i need to come in a little bit over the break. that's no biggie. clean here and there. so scared next term is the m word. Math.

this semester was a lot of tears, A LOT! stress, a lot of it. and one big turn around. this has been one hell of a semester, i learned a lot from it, grown a lot from it. next term next year, building that confidence. seriously, before it was like yeah w/e confidence i have it. Gain my sanity back! yes that's what I need. sheesh had a good conversation with pops today, i like those conversation, a lot of suggestions, criticism, advice.

irked with oblivious people. sheesh their annoying. well i'm done peace.

final thoughts on the day before i go to bed.

Last night I was so upset over something. I was so bad, I word vomited. I vented out so much hate, so much shit. I feel so dirty. I feel like I should be punished.

A fool's lips bring him strife,
and his mouth invites a beating.
A fool's mouth is his undoing,
and his lips are a snare to his soul.
The words of a gossip are like choice morsels;
go down to a man's inmost parts.
Proverbs 18:6-8

I have being doing so much of it, I need to stop. Who am I?
Tongue is a dangerous weapon, it breaks people.
brings out the beast in all of us.
we get so caught up in judging others
we don't see the monster that infected our soul.
our minds.
who are we to judge?
spreading hate, spreading rumors, hating on people.
why not let life just go on, worry about yours
not others.

I need to stop, bit my tongue. I feel dirty.

sunday.

almost the end of the the first semester. ^^ all the shizz i done in the first semester. looking at it damn i did a lot, pat on the back for me. well yeah, half the year is over. 3 colleges. C.C.C. OTIS & C.C.A. two of them require a portfolio. That's my break, creating my portfolio and scholarships, especially gates. I need it so bad. fingers cross. well brb.

mommy nature is having a tough time, while inconsiderate vampires have a ball game

it has been raining the past couple of days the reason to my MIA on blogger. the weather makes me sleepy. been sick lately. caught up with a few things. got involved with more things. same ol' same ol'.

today i witnessed two father daughter dances. one at my cousins wedding. and the other at my friend jamaica's sweet sixteen. i wish i had a party with a court and everything, but sadly no. my mom told me no ways, for my 18 bday/grad. my dad said you dont live with me why should i care. and my bestfriends party is like the day after my bday, and his cousins one is on my bday. so nailz. but man that would be so cool. too poor for it too hah!

well too tired. type in later.

9 days part two.

Today was not a good day for me. I was gloomy like the weather. First I wanted to finish deadlines so bad so I could edit, and then scolded by my teacher, I get into an argument with my friend, then turns to find out I'm not editing it, someone else is. I'm bitter-sweet about it, one side I'm happy it's off my chest, another thing to cross off. other half felt like I dumped a load on someone else, and it was project I actually took time doing the tedious work, so I could get to it. I still feel burden with newspaper and yearbook. So I was talking to Jon and Ramiscal after school. Talking about video... I remember entering this year with idea of just doing video, not even caring about yearbook. I didn't even care what the theme of the book was going to be. Newspaper, that was random, I didn't even plan on taking that class. I just wanted to do video. Some where in between I lost focus. Eyes full of tears, I'm still disoriented. I had an intervention with Jon and Ramiscal, thinking I'm mentally ill. Nice chit chat.My teachers, thank god they have been patient and understanding. Put up with everything I've given them. The car ride home, Ramiscal gave me a speech, the kind of speech a dad would give his kid. His speech, if i could sum it up is... the reason why i do this because i want you to learn and grow. Well I'm being kicked off. Peace.