Listen to YOUR HEART. Dreams is a wish YOUR HEART makes.

HEART > MIND

DREAMS > REALITY

miss them...

Just got back from MSMC. It was the tiny little break, I don't regret my decision, it was worth being there. It got me in the mood to go back to school. It was quite amusing to sit in for one of their classes and bullshit my name and major. I'm Sandra majoring in Nursing, blah blah blah. I wish she was my professor she was very amusing. LOL it was the nice chill downtime I needed. I love it. Going back this Saturday, first time catching the bus here in LA omg someone wish me luck >___<

Dear Hawaii

i miss you so much every heavy sigh i make is follwed by tears, it’s so hard to let you go once again. it is killing me. your beauty. your people. the aloha spirit. can never compare to the concrete jungle and it’s cold stone environment. i miss you hawaii. and although it gets harder each day at least i know it’s a step closer to you. please take care. may the lord watch over and bless you hawaii. please take care of my loves. guide my juniors and bless my seniors. i will reunite with them soon. goodbye hawaii.
I’ve never been great with goodbyes. Even temporary ones. No matter what goodbyes always hurt. to me a goodbye only occurs with reality catches up with you. when you can’t escape and you have no other choice but to let go. yeah that’s what it is goodbyes are let gos for me. goodbye is telling me let go of your home goodbye/let go of your life and say hello. Hello are just as scary as goodbyes. Uncertinty. First impressions. It’s opportunity, but black dark thoughts cloud my mind. thus my lack of confidence. I miss home dearly. So much more now. Just 4 months and I’ll see if I will just stay. Although I’ll regret it I just can’t take the pain of another goodbye. it hurts.

I don't want to sleep because I know when I wake up it will be time to go. I'm trying to stay awake. Trying to stay positive. I am my own worst enemy. HELP ME!

Three weeks went by so fast and break is officially is over. I'm so sad. I really am. I know what awaits me in Los Angeles, the thought of it is killing me. School is fine, it's just being stuck. Confide to a space. Confide to a tiny apartment. Where I do nothing but homework and facebook. It's hard. I love Hawaii and everything about it, I don't mine that it's tiny. It's home. Just got to suck it up. Suck it up. Suck it up. It's starting to get difficult. I just want to stay home.

I had to hang up and turn away, I knew that the words that meant so much held no meaning for you. This is it.