Thanks,

I called my former history teacher, asking if she could help me out. Well as always we were talking about things, the economy, movies, and all that jazz. She then brought up a good point, the reason why I quit council, I forgotten... i'm not going to quote her, but here's the break down. I've done so much, because others wouldn't. now it's time for me to think about me. how exactly will karma have good fortune fall on me, if i'm too distracted.

Today been on it with college, stuff. 8 complicated essays in two weeks. I pray to god I get it. Please. Well I'm so tired, I can't even think right now and it's only 9:00 ouch. That's my problem, by the time I get home I have no energy for anything. Lame.

UGH!
now sweetie pie is irking me.

Hour later, finally hung up on him I can't take it when he thinks I can drop everything just to fix problems for him, for his project. When I got a billion and one things of my own.

It really is starting to feel like the holidays, besides the decorations at the mall, it really is starting to feel like it. I can feel it, the weather my mood is starting to think about family. Family... rarely are we are ALL together and happy, usually a bitter quarrel between someone. My mother anti-social hates it. Yep the holidays... I just don't want a repeat of last year... well I need to sleep losing my mind here. Peace.

I'm Thankful

Nothing lately has been heavy on my mind, phew that's a good sign.

Today I woke up a little late and went to church. Unexpectedly I started bawling, at church I never do listen to the pastor or anything like that, no at church I am in my own world, thoughts float around in my mind and I reflect on my life. I look at my problems and count my blessings. That leads to why I was crying. My aunt claims to be a palm reader, she refused to read any of older cousins palm, but when I waved mines in her face she grabbed it. She read it out loud in Filipino. I couldn't understand some things she was saying. I later asked my older cousin who was around, she said my aunt thinks I'm going to be successful. I don't believe in palm reading and all that, but I started to think about success. I always thought success is measured by the amount of money you have, but I finally came to my senses and realized there's more to it. Success in the dictionary is not defined by material possessions but rather an accomplishment, an achievement. So as I stood in church I started thinking about my success and fortune, and I finally got it. I've been rich in love. Throughout my life there had been so many people who looked out for me, who thought there was something about me, who cared for me. I never had a friend mad at me or say something about me as far as I know, and I always had encouragement from so many people. I'm so thankful for that. I always grumbled on the unfair life I lived, how it was unfair I didn't have a normal happy home, unfair I can't enjoy the simple things, unfair... but through it all someone was there, my aunties and uncles watched out for me and took me in when my mother was upset. In elementary school, I had sympathy from my teachers. Even now, I have teachers, who practically are like my parents. My friends ask me what's wrong..Through every stage in life I had someone looking out for me... I just never noticed it...

I LOVE YOU & THANK YOU...
I'm rich at heart and love,
no one can take that away from me.

Then A Hero COoOoMEs AlOoOoNG!

Today I vacuumed the house and worked on my HFJCC scholarship application. Then finally got that birthday video uploaded. Then Daniel picked me up and we went to Ala Moana for the Sony Expo. We chilled at Ala Moana for a while exploring the wonders of Shirokia, Macys, and Apple Store. Macys we meet a bonafied NANCY, BARBARA, JESSE, BETTY kind of woman, and a lady named Jessie D.

We spotted the Ramiscals right outside Shirokia, and Daniel and I were all scared, till we finally got the guts to go out there, we were kind of suppose to meet them I think? Anyways, almost got ran over by a 2 passenger stroller ha ha. Nah, was pops pushing his kiddies, and may I say for the millionth time his children are adorable. Half Japanese, Half Filipino babies always are. I'm envious of their fair complexion. I noticed the man donated blood, a few weeks ago he was unable to but now he can that's pretty awesome, proud of the ol' man.

Went to the Sony Expo, everything was amazing. They had some pretty dope SLR, the TV are unbelievably thin. The camera's have awesome lighting, and one of them requires no tape aii LOG AND CAPTURE is history ;P and a program called AVID NO RENDERING! Also a camera where it detects you smiling and it takes a pic. automatic. So Daniel, Pops, Sherwin, and I were standing in front of it, wondering what would happen if we just stood in front of it without any teeth visible, of course it never snapped but i guess our wi fi was on cause about 5 sec. afterwards we all smiled at the same time. Haha.

Afterwards walked back to Ala Moana, and went to the apple store. We were all looking at the programs and Daniel and I was like omg a Logo making program started joking with pops that if we had used this we could have gotten the A&C logo to him faster. Then Sherwin pointed out some SAT programs, and then pops pointed out two programs for me a elementary spelling game, and a math tutoring program NAILZ lmfao.

I was suppose to go to a Rex N. comedy show at pipeline with my dad, step mom, and little sister, but uh I didn't want to so I called my mom asked if we could go see a movie along with Daniel. We never, instead just ate and headed for home. I have a chance to see Rex tomorrow night anyways haha.

I'm home now and the neighbors are irking. There is a Filipino party going on, oh my someone busted out with the karaoke. Most popular songs...
once more you oOoOopen the doOor... my heaaaaaarrrt will goOo oOOon and oOoon...
then a heeerooo comes aloOong with da strength to carry on...
the greaaaaaatest love of all is haapening to meeeeeeeeeeee...
and da risen is clear itsh becas you are here...i'm on toOop of the woOorld loOoking down on creation... your loob has put me on top ob da world.

aii shaddap already.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JdER2QVlqTM
check it out, made it for the BFF.

happy birthday

to my b.f.f. geeeeeee
i love you dawg :D

anyways, today is my bff's birthday, everyone got him a balloon and stuff, i started to cry cause i got nothing for him. i gave him a hug and shoved 5 dollars at him, he took of course filipino that's why. why the big deal? uh if a friend took you to the movies bought you ice cream and let you watch the sunset for your bday and you can't figure what to do for his, it's kinda a big deal for me.

first period came to school close to 50 min. late because sweetie pie forgot the camera. broadcast was running. finally did the arts and communication logo, a collab with daniel and i! &WHAT no mess. 2nd period got black emo make up put on me, because daniel needed to film a video about him without him in it. we were going for the mean girls look, hah! he caught me on tape falling off a chair LMFAO. Lunch being daniels bitch, helping him film. 3rd period an' what?! changed her mind and got us reading Hamlet. HOLLA! STOP HO! haha gangstah. I don't know why but I moke out in her class all the time. 4th period HOT and bored as hell.

Afterschool stayed back in Rams class. Watching KUNG FU PANDA <3 hawww cute movie. I love Dreamworks cute shizzz. Anyways, got interviewed for someones news story. Right outside the classroom doors was a "LOVE GLOVE" aii empress walks in and says got my DNA all over it, I was like yeah right was you! Then rams, mama q, and empress accusing me and geeee, hellz nawwww. In my head i was like it would so fricken disghusting if it was hybrids one. ew.

got home saw some of my baby photos posted it on facebook. made a video for gemel.

this weekend, essays, essays, and uh more essays.
going for the gates, and filipino chamber of commerance.

ohshaaa i like cry, my fault.
peace.

tomorrow blog somemore the heavy stuff.

ok timeout,

there is so much pressure, so much responsibility. a month ago i would be crying already, shutting my self away from everyone, so i can concentrate on carrying my load. but now that's not the case, I'm getting use to the word no. I'm getting use to balancing things. I haven't perfected it, never will but I'm at least getting somewhere, I'm progressing. The next challenge Now is all about patience and understanding, especially with *HER, she's a tough person, she'll throw her punches and beat me up, but I'll stand up again and again. Till i can catch her blows, only to ignore it, not to retort. The sense of urgency, I still need to feel. I still need to work on. Sure enough, it will come to me. I hope. Well back to work.

"You have probably grown tired of being a caretaker to your boss, your peers and even your kids. Don't waste energy being hard on yourself, for too much self-criticism can lead to despair without a healthy perspective."

today's horoscope. weird.

the weekend.

the weekend, let's start from friday.
Friday was thee (notice the two e's) haha football game. It was held at Aloha Stadium, Sabers v. Rams. I got to take pictures from the stand, and a little bit on the field. My feet were killing me by the end of the night. I never realized how huge the stadium is. After the game Rams bought us Mickey D's, I never realized how nice Angie is :)

Saturday had some major cleaning to do, I vaccumed, did the laundry, scrub the bathroom clean, took care of the garbage, dusted the house. Saved enough energy for the JV football game.Filmed the game. Got annoyed and harrassed in the sky box, ughhhh. Was planning to go to the Sony Expo, but uh pops got the dates wrong, ended up eating at zippy's sistah rae was working. talked about random things. i got asked a lot of questions, that got me thinking about my life. those "scoldings" always get to me. got home watched SNL mommy came home, all bitchy... i think she was tired from the trip.

Sunday woke up did the laundry, went to church. Then went shopping with dfizz and your maje$ty. haha was fun. fricken daniel in his jeans, mmm how you fit in them jeans. Bought new sandals? w/e haha. Dropped off essy, daniel wanted to stop by Vans so we did. Then when we are about to leave, Daniel's car refused to start, something with the battery, so he called mary to pick me up. haha along with all his shopping bags. shizzz. got home rake the yard. Took a walk aroung the neighborhood.

Best friend's birthday on Friday :)
btw Happy Birthday to my friend Evelyn.

the weekend.