I need a pick me up. I haven't been feeling good emotionally. It's so annoying. I hate this. It's 3 more weeks till I come home, and I should be happy right? I should be excited? Now it feels like I'm just doing things just to get by, that's horrible I can't have that happening. I'm thinking about transferring to another school. Parsons? maybe. At least there's room and board. I don't know I have to think it over.

201 (minus the 0 equal days left)

Happy Holidays. Took this picture last year at Honolulu City Lights. 21 days I can't wait to go to the beaches, eat gooood food, and just chill. Oh joy oh joy :D! Well I'm awake and have class at 12. I just hate how long it is. Walking home late tonight, I hate that.

Maybe being here made me a little stronger. I just wish it didn't hurt so much. I really need to go see a doctor and find out if I really do have depression. It's not pathetic it's real.

200.

I'm at the apartment now. This sadness and depression is rolling over me, and now more than ever do I need it to go away. I can't live with this anchor, it's stopping me from living my life. They say it's all in the head. That back then there was no such thing, but I honestly believe that I am suffering from depression.

In other news, I'm giving up... this time I can do it. I'm promising myself. No longer.

I've blogged in here so much why not keep it up right?! Although there's a huge Gap between the last date I blogged and now... gaaah well not much graduation, grad parties, california, homesick, korean bbq, pretty much it LOL!

Well today Daniel Lisa and I pretty much took a drive to a different world. It was amazing, like we couldn't believe our eyes. It looked fake. We went to Big Bear to play in snow. The snow to us was a whole different element and we just adventured into it. It was so much, but so damn cold. In the end we spent a good 4 hours and ended with Vietnamese Pho mmmm so damn good.

I think I'm getting sick, damn! Can't afford anymore absences.

I miss home, it hurts right now. I'm debating if I should just go home for college or find a different school. I would regret it so much, but it's better for the family I guess.