DEAR FRIEND,

To handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart. Anger is only one letter short of danger. If someone betrays you once, it is his fault; if he betrays you twice, it is your fault. Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people. He who loses money, loses much; he who loses a friend, loses much more; he who loses faith, loses all. Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art. Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself. Friends, you and me... You brought another friend... and then there were three... We started our group... Our circle of friends... Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is mystery. Today is a gift that's what they call it the present.
--Eleanor Roosevelt

WORD.
this is not towards anyone in particular. intended for the general reader.

a good day. a very good day indeed. optimistic view on life is not so bad.

honestly, i don't know you anymore. bye.

you and your wife can kiss my ass. care? you the one who left me! you idiot you left me! left me and you talk about growing up! i had to grow up when i was nine and you mock my mom! my mom for all the times she pulled it together. all the times she wanted to break down and cry... even die! and you talk about caring. "why should i give a shit? what do i get from you?" i'm not a fucking investment i'm your daughter. i swallowed my pride and called you and your wife and wished you a happy valentines day. when i heard your wife was in the hospital i called and asked if everything was ok!!!!! why i don't like to see you? why i refuse to get into the car? because once i get in i get treated like shit. i get forgotten, aunty sally comes first. then you just throw your temper at me get all dissapointed at me?! for no damn reason. at least when mom is mad she has reason, frustrated from all the burden you put on us when you left. so fuck you, you go to PI over the summer only telling me a day before you leave. You go to NY in the fall telling me a day before you leave?! fuck you. there are so many reason why i hate you and i'm trying to forgive really am trying but you make it hard.

past two days:

• Went to Loco Moco with Jeff
• Went to school working on yearbook/slideshow
• Teachers were wondering why we were there
• Sold candy to them after being taught the ways of a salesperson from Ms. Tanaka
• Was the prom queen, with a tie
• Went to photoshoot at the beach and park while waiting for stuff to burn
• Jeff and Jordan in front of my house
• Went with Jordan and played ball with Edison Sherwin Erin Justin
• Went to Wal-Mart with them to find lights. FAIL.
• Went to Jordan's house, light painted in his backyard
• Superman, Dragonball Z and random things
• Sherwin dropped me home

NEXT DAY:
• Called Gemel talked for a while
• Went to Zippy's with my mommy
• Dalie fighting to be my cashier haha
• A zip pack a chilli chicken mixed plate later we were done
• Went to pick up Jeffry
• Stuck in traffic went to Lexie's first birthday party
• Helped the ol' man set up well technically he was helping us
• Watched Bungee the clown and played the slideshow
• Have you ever been in love was killing me, made the parents cry with the slideshow
• Clean up, ol' man was talking Filipino it was so weird but interesting
• Loaded the car "My last command go eat" I was very hesitant to do so as well as Jeff
• I got cake with white frosting and sprinkles ontop with chicken that Jeff grabbed
• Jumped into the ol' man's car like an illegal immigrant LETS GO CHICO!
• Shared a conversation with thee cutest almost 3 year old baby girl
• Went to Waikele, noticed Jamba cards in our goodie bag. Used them.
• Orange Dream and Matcha Green Tea THICK WITH EXTRA ICE
• Photography books at the "library"
• Mom picked us up and dropped us off at shoreline
• Semi photoshoot and talk session?
• Plans for light painting formed
• Daniel picked Jeff and I up
• JAMBA JORDANS WAL MART MICKEY D'S LONGS
• BLUE LED LIGHT and NUTTER BUTTER
• Dropped Jeff and Erin home
• WAIKELE STARBUCKS
• Met up with Justin
• Fail ATTEMP at Sports Authority
• MANAGERS
• Flashing lights
• Jordans Place
• Videos
• Jack In The Box
• Light painting intro
• Edison dropped me off
• Edit a little
• Sleep

Moving at the speed of light into eternity..

right now out with sherwin jordan justin edison light painting at jordans place
damn it's cold shizz brb


later, just woke up. i got home about 1. pretty amazing light painting :D we were watching some videos on vimeo, people in Europe dang! No life I swear or they do it for a living. So last night after meeting up at several destinations and Justin's instincts on the bridge. We went back to Jordans place and all started a video. All intro and a few things with Justin.

This week got to film! Got to get videos working. It's like a video a day this week. 7 total for youth exchange and hmsa. CHEE hella excited. Everything MUST go according to plan I hope. Ok peace.

Ordinary People...

Am I living the Ordinary People music video? Today I witnessed 3 fights. First was my bestfriend and I then my neighbors was fighting Father v. Daughter and lastly my mom and my dad.

Scene 1:
I HATE how everyone assumes I like him and stuff like that, I HATE that the assumptions lead him to believe I still like him. I HATE how in school he's a jerk to me, but at home it's ok, all because of what other people think. I HATE how he lets that bother him.

Scene 2:
They were screaming at the top of their lungs that all the surrounding neighbors garage lights went on. Poor mother was in between.

Scene 3:
My little sister caught in between my parents.

It's a habbit...

I finally forced myself to read to chapter 3, I can proudly say I have not used sparknotes yet. I really want to learn Illustrator and AE asap. I'm still trippin' how that one girl 1uped me in a day. A day! Then again I'm flattered that our stuff wowed her and inspired her to create her own stuff. I was watching typography videos with Sherwin after after after school. I just want to tweak already! Anyways.

I got a habbit for useless blogs
speaking of habbits.

Once I get on the computer.
I make 4 tabs
I sign in to Facebook
then Gmail
then Myspace
then Blogger
then Flickr
then watch youtube videos.

random day

went to church with gemel today and when we were leaving the parking lot we saw this inconsiderate man just run over a cone, it was stuck under his car for a while. idiot.

so cute my driver hahaha ;)

so today was pretty random, i woke up thinking i got a list of chores but my mom was all upset with my sister, ended up at church. went to eat at sushi robot then sams club. then i went home. my cousin and jeff called me at the same time. cousin asking if i wanted to head to the beach, and jeff asking me about his camera. fixed jeff's camera and got trigger happy. went to church with gemel again don't ask. i was still camera trigger happy. so been editing and taking pics all day long.

*hmph

Always seem to be on the run. We haven't spoken in so long. We can't get past the how are you. We're not talking like we used to.

I really do miss those days.
;( but busy busy busy.
whoever said senior year would
be one of the best years
of your life
I ought to slap them.

*)*&&@(%#^ (figure that one)

i'm sorry i told you how i saw it. i've been keeping that in the whole week. but i'm tired of seeing you beating yourself up over a person. sorry that person meant a lot. but now your upset with me? i've been your friend since sophomore year. i struggle to find the words, to comfort you. i'm sorry i'm not much help like everyone else, but i tried -___- you know how frustrating that is, wanting to help someone so bad, but you don't know what to say, trying to avoid hurting their feelings? i've been your friend for a long time and i still can't comfort you after what you've done for me :( i never ever ever ever will be upset with you, i will never ever ever ever ever ever be upset because your sad, that's stupid. if you think i was mad when i told you all that i wasn't in my mind i was trying to say it as nice as possible. i had to sign off abruptly honest to god. when i did sign back on you weren't online. i love you, don't i tell you that everyday? i'm sorry.

Hot & Cold Yes & No Up & Down Wrong & Right...

Today was a pretty ok day, we didn't have a so called pop quiz in trigonometry. Third period either no one understood or no one got the webnote on Tale of Two Cities, no one got punished. Instead we were given the opportunity to purchase the book that has notes in the back of it. 4th period helped whoever, trying install leopard. "brainless" work again -___-. After school burned a football game, helped jordan with his edit, trying to fricken install something. the ol' man was off his rocker.

looking at the weekend i got to read 6 chapters, answer question. fix my psych paper and handout. portfolio!!! start slideshow. clean the house.

This morning i was very upset. When I got home, he made me even more mad. Then I called him with a speech prepared, but then he did this thing and I forgot why I was even mad. Stupid. Started talking about Science Fair and his day and my day. Stupid. He's such a geek I swear. Stupid. Then he had to drive for his mommy and promise to call back later. Stupid.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...

I found out near the end of third period that we needed to read 5 chapters of Tale of Two Cities. I can't get past the first couple of pages. fail.

Line

Phone Line
Calls me, I call him back .We're on the phone say Hi, what you doing. Both doing homework. He's doing calculus. I'm editing. We don't talk just. Then after 5 minutes of silence then "i'll call you back". We don't.

Morning
I'm coming now. Ok. 5 min later he comes. Drop off his brother and cousin. Clear the throat. Look at him, he looks back through mirror. Parking lot. Bell rings got to go.

Lunch
In front of G building he's heading towards the office. I head toward J.

3rd Period
He clears his throat. I look. He looks. I look away. Repeat. Mouth YOUR FACE. I get up take his pencil. He just throws out his hand. I tease him, doesn't work. Give back. Do work. 4th period.


LAME LAME LAME!

(QUICK BREAK)Good Morning Sabers...

This is your student morning bulletin. I'm happy and satisfied with how things are running. So much problems in the first half of the year and now things are finally coming together. Broadcast is awesome, our yearbook is awesome, newspaper got a major cosmetic surgery. I'm such a geek. This feeling, is what I've been waiting for, as lame as that sounds. Since it's a semi new month, 5 days late no matter. GOALS! Raise the grades raise it so I can get a 3.5 on my cumulative. Learn Illustrator and AE :)!

it's all good in the neighborhood.

Survey says...

BASICS:
001. Real name? - Ahndiana Flores
002. Nickname(s)? - ahndimohala, ahndiwear, ahndi, ahnz, awear, gaina (don't ask -__-)
003. Relationship Status? - Single.
004. Zodiac sign? - Cancer
005. Male or Female? - Female
006. Elementary? - Holomua
007. Middle School? - 'Ilima
008. High School? - James Campbell HS
009. College? - Not yet but crossing my fingers on a few
010. Hair color? - Black
011. Long or short? - Short
012. Loud or Quiet? - Depends ;)
013. Favorite Genre? - Indie Rock
014. Favorite Band/Artist? - Beatles :)
015. Favorite Song? - Nothing in particular
016. Favorite Colour? - Red Black and White
017. Sweats or Jeans? - Jeans
018. Phone or Camera? - Camera
019. Health freak? - LOL! No
020. Drink or Smoke? - Neither
021. Do you have a crush on someone? - No
022. Eat or Drink? - Their both vital to my life
023. Piercing? - Ears
024. Tattoos? - None

FIRSTS:
025. First piercing? - When I was 2 on my ears
026. First best friend(s)? - Amanda C.
027. First award? - I forgot
028. First crush? - HAHAHAHA! NO!
029. First pet? - A dog, mans best friend
030. First big vacation? - PI
031. First big birthday? - 1st birthday

CURRENTLY:
032. Eating? - Nothing
033. Drinking? - Nothing
034. I'm about to? - Pull an all nighter
035. Listening to? - Nothing
036. Plans for today? - Homework, Tweak, Blog, Sleep
037. Waiting for? - Nothing

YOUR FUTURE:
038. Want kids? - Sure
039. Want to get married? - Yes
040. Careers in mind? - Art Director

WHICH IS BETTER IN A GIRL/BOY?
041. Lips or eyes? - Eyes
042. Shorter or taller? - Taller
043. Romantic or spontaneous? - Spontaneous
044. Nice stomach or nice arms? - It don't matter
045. Sensitive or loud? - Can I get a 50/50?
046. Hook-up or relationship? - Relationship
047. Trouble maker or hesitant? - Hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER:
048. Lost glasses/contacts? - 20/20 vision BIA!
049. Ran away from home? - No
050. Held a gun/knife for self defense? - No
051. Killed somebody? - No
052. Broken someone's heart? - No
053. Been arrested? - No
054. Cried when someone died? - Yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
055. Yourself? - Yes
056. Miracles? - Yes
057. Love at first sight? -
058. Heaven? - Yes
059. Santa Claus? - No
060. Sex on the first date? - Random, No.
061. Kiss on the first date? - I don't know?

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
062. Is there one person you want to be with right now? - No
063. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life? - No
064. Do you believe in God? - No

065. Post as truths and tag. Tag 10 people: if I've tagged you that means I want to know more about you

Dear Friend I got 99 problems but a...

Dear Friend,
I've been your friend through thick and thin. You've been the person I can turn to, so there is no need to apologize. You committed no crime. It's my turn to return the favor and be the kind of friend you've been all along. Lean on me when your not strong, we all know that song. I love you. Now wipe up those tears and we'll figure this out.

Dear Friend,
I can't believe what I seen today. Don't think of it as a moment of weakness, we all are feeling that pressure got to let it out. In my case I've let it out wayyyy too much. I admire your ability to be strong and assertive. Your doing good, keep it up. Don't ever let others think your not good enough, you've made a huge turn around. This term, got to admit been good, minor set backs. It's not perfect but we're getting there all. Keep it up. & BTW Thank you so much.

Dear Friend,
I'm glad we are at peace. Yes there is things we need to talk out and I do agree with what your saying. Just be patient, don't keep it in. Literally speak out.

Dear Friend,
For a person so young you got a lot of wisdom. You seem to got your life in control, staying focus. I wish I had your determination and energy. All got our up and downs, but dang it's life. If life was smooth sailing we all end up like brats. Sometimes it's just a slap of reality. I don't got much to say, you probably got it all figured.

Dear Elder,
Now that is old. I've said this about 3-5 times to day but just so "you know" one day I won't flinch. I have no idea why I'm afraid of you after 2 years, but thank you for talking to me. Just like a father, boy oh boy your kids are lucky. Anyways Bring on the big tasks, bring the on the storm. I swear I am sane. If I cried at the very last minute last time over a mistake, pretty darn sure I'm ok next time around.

cause you had a bad day,

today was a bittersweet day. I cried, DAMN IT I CRIED! AGAIN! Ughh I thought I was doing good too. What hurt the most, was the fact he predicted it, he predicted I was going to freak out and cry. CRY! and i did! i wanted to prove everyone wrong that I could get through it without a tear, i wanted to prove it to myself. I was almost there, i was so damn sure I could do it. THEN I HAD TO CRY! being scolded? lectured? advised? again not fair not fair not fair. at least wasn't stress. ahndi again going on and on about crying, you don't know how much it means I wanted to keep my composure this time prove to myself I can do it. >____________<

in other news seems like everyone else is not having a good day.

we all are familiar with a bad day. it starts off as a normal day then WHAM! a problem leaks through, then another, then another, next thing you know your drowning in disappointment, stress, frustration. don't got no where to turn to, you try your best to bottle it up, your best not to wear it, your best not to let it get to you but in the end you pop. your attitude spills onto others, you didn't mean to. of course not it's all because you had a bad day you'll end up telling them after a day or two. then your stuck face looking down eyes full of tears and frustration both hands on your head as you pull at your hair and try to figure it all out, am i being punished? what did i do? why me?

well afterschool was ok, working with esther on our video waiting for jeff, watching the ol' man play with his iphone, trying to avoid the ol' man so we don't get work. talking to mary and sean briefly. then jeff came, i was scared >______< still am. then worked with esther and waited for her mom to grab us. then going to her house and eating pork chops and pinkabet(sp?). then home, homework, homework, homework -_____- and playing dr. phil.

My grandmother. I hate it when my aunties and uncles yell at her. I hate it when my cousins all of the sudden has a fake Filipino accent when they talk to her. My grandma and I have the same personality. She always helping others and hates fighting. She would swallow her pride, just to end an argument. When my grandfather was sick he would yell and throw things at her, but she would pick up the pieces. She stuck by him after he abused her, did drugs, and cheated on her. My grandma she always scolded me to clean the house, so my mother doesn't yell at Kelly and I. My grandmother is a free spirit, she hates being home. When she is at home she is cooking for her boys. You may see her on the bus, old lady with red/purple hair, jewelry, and 5 bags. Most likely if you sat by her she'd strike up a random conversation with you. The adventures on the bus, one day she came home, telling me about her adventures in China town. The next a bus route that took her around the island. She never let anything weigh her down. Yeah she's a little weird working at the clubs as a bathroom attendant, but I love her. PEACE :D

this contradict my belief about being a phony, for one i don't watch NFL football, only football i watch is high school football. i don't have a favorite team. i don't like watching sports. but superbowl is one way i get what i want from my bestfriend. been placing bets with him since sophomore year. this year the bet is about grad parties, no money involved because we both are broke. i don't ever pay attention to the game or the half time show. nope my joy is the commercials :)!