Back Then and Now...

A few weeks ago Daniel, Ivy, and I went to Starbucks just to get out of the house and there we seen an old familiar face, Bryant. Daniel was telling us about something he had done in Australia, I just smiled and Bryant looked at me and said "Haha suckin' Ahndi I know you gonna say something dirty, something stupid. Still never change same ol' Ahndi" translation "Ahndi I know you joker, always have a comeback same ol' girl haha :)" Honestly in my head I was like "huh?" and I tried to think of a comeback like Bryant assumed, but nothing... I just couldn't.

Funny, because freshman year I had always had a comeback I was a "peanut gallery" I had commentary on everything, and I befriended people who were just like me. Yep, Daniel, Caitlin, and I would say a billion and one things, inappropriate? yes immature? yep. Our freshmen teachers even kept an extra watch on us. Looking back at it was fun but so immature, I ain't as mean now as I was back then. Something change.

The jokes aren't on other people instead it's on me now That sounds bad ,but it isn't really. I let people crack jokes on me because "If you can't laugh at yourself, then don't even bother laughing at others". I'm kind of a pushover now. I'm the nice guy girl. I'd give up my seat for you no matter how tired my legs are, I would give you my jacket even though I'm freezing myself. I just do it out of impulse. I know my limits, I won't tolerate ROYAL pains.

Even my friendships change, I prefer people who are a bit more nicer, but with that mild humor. I think I lost my friendship with Caitlin, because I can't stand how she says the meanest things and is outraged when someone calls her white. SHE SELF PROCLAIMS HER SELF AS WHITE! Come on now. I see her and I what I was.

A girl who would hurt others to make others like her make others laugh so she would fit in. Only to be losing her true self.

I don't know.