Dear Hawaii

i miss you so much every heavy sigh i make is follwed by tears, it’s so hard to let you go once again. it is killing me. your beauty. your people. the aloha spirit. can never compare to the concrete jungle and it’s cold stone environment. i miss you hawaii. and although it gets harder each day at least i know it’s a step closer to you. please take care. may the lord watch over and bless you hawaii. please take care of my loves. guide my juniors and bless my seniors. i will reunite with them soon. goodbye hawaii.
I’ve never been great with goodbyes. Even temporary ones. No matter what goodbyes always hurt. to me a goodbye only occurs with reality catches up with you. when you can’t escape and you have no other choice but to let go. yeah that’s what it is goodbyes are let gos for me. goodbye is telling me let go of your home goodbye/let go of your life and say hello. Hello are just as scary as goodbyes. Uncertinty. First impressions. It’s opportunity, but black dark thoughts cloud my mind. thus my lack of confidence. I miss home dearly. So much more now. Just 4 months and I’ll see if I will just stay. Although I’ll regret it I just can’t take the pain of another goodbye. it hurts.